I have been thinking about the temptations that bring down celebrated Christian leaders. Sexual abuse, bullying of workers, and financial greed are big ones. Each new revelation makes me angry and disappointed.
What have been my temptations as a female leader and do you identify with any of these?
The temptation to envy and compare. This is such a pressure for women in every field. We compare our appearance and we envy the Instagram happy-family-life. We worry about missing out – not being invited to speak at an important conference.
I sometimes covet validation from others, more than I covet God’s closeness.
The temptation to rely on my position and to become entitled. In a busy world, I can fall back on my past achievements and experience rather than circling back to God in humility. I don’t want to appear vulnerable, especially in a room full of men.
Are these weaknesses as destructive as adultery, abuse or fraud? They are not as notorious but they can hurt me and others, and impact the work of the Kingdom.
They come from a misplaced desire to serve God while also serving the success narratives of the world – trusting in my position, my status, my reputation.
Are these just small things? The error – the disobedience – of Lot’s wife in Genesis Ch 19, was to turn back to look at her city of Sodom, rather than trusting in God’s direction for a new beginning. Her action is understandable to me, yet it has alarming consequences.
Lot’s wife does not even have her own name – maybe she relied too much on the name and position of her husband or maybe the writer wants to reduce her story to a moral lesson. Whatever the reason, Jesus warned his followers, “Remember Lot’s wife” (Luke 17:32).
We know so little about her BUT she must yearn for something in her old life – comforts, status, security – so much that she disobeys God’s explicit warning (Gen 19:26).
It must have been more than a glance. Ezekial says that the sins of Sodom’s women were arrogance, pride and material comfort that came from exploiting the poor (see Ezek 16:49-50). So Lot’s wife must have yearned for worldly pleasures and position rather than God.
I don’t ever want to get so comfortable, so proud of my CV and achievements, even if they seem Godly and worthwhile, that I look back to those things rather than being willing to follow God into new and unknown territory. Of course, we should look back to remember God’s faithfulness and goodness but that is not what Lot’s wife was doing. Her careless disregard of a direct command literally calcifies her – salt which should be a preservative and life enhancer, is her death.
God’s mercy, kindness and forgiveness are my hope, but I need to remember to listen to his small guiding voice whenever I am tempted to complain, compare or covet.
As a leader I hope I am willing to obey again and again, staying humble and servant hearted, relying on the infinitely greater wisdom and victory of Jehovah Nissi – my banner above me, and over all us Kyrians.
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