Have you ever suffered at the hands of people who intrude into your day and waste your time? I have. Whether it’s cold callers disguising their numbers, a customer service rep giving me the runaround, or a friend insisting they urgently need to talk when it turns out to be anything but urgent. Time wasters. And honestly? These moments frustrate me and stretch my patience.
Maybe you’re like me—someone who wants to make the most of each day. My to-do list is neatly arranged, colour-coded, and waiting for me. (Now, whether I achieve all that I plan is another story and perhaps a blog post for another day!) The point is, I want to use my time wisely, and interruptions feel like an irritant.
But recently, at an intercultural conference, I heard something that stopped me in my tracks. One of the speakers shared the Ethiopian perspective on what it means to “waste time together.” Intrigued, I listened closely.
If you love coffee, you probably know that Ethiopian coffee is considered some of the best in the world. But what makes it truly special isn’t just the taste—it’s the way it’s shared. In Ethiopia, coffee drinking is not a rushed pit stop on a busy day; it’s an occasion. Friends, families, and neighbours gather, not watching the clock, but embracing the moment. Coffee becomes the setting for conversation, reconciliation, and building deep, meaningful friendships.
What amazed me most was the way this practice fosters healing. The panellist explained that in Ethiopian culture, these gatherings provide space for forgiveness and restoration. When there’s been conflict, the community uses the coffee ceremony to speak words of encouragement, remind one another of their value, and repair broken relationships. The “wasting of time together” becomes a space of grace—where people are reminded that mistakes don’t define them, but their willingness to forgive and rebuild does.
What wisdom! And what a noble goal. In our Western culture, busyness often defines us, and time governs our every move. Yet perhaps we, too, need to learn how to “waste time together” in a holy way—creating communal spaces for grace, healing, and growth.
As a classic introvert, I’ll admit I often prefer one-on-one conversations over groups. And yet, I can’t deny that some of my most significant moments of growth have happened in community—think small groups, prayer circles, or shared meals.
I’m reminded of Jesus and His disciples. The gospels give us glimpses of their conversations: where different personalities, unresolved conflicts, and even tension at times, are on display. Yet Jesus consistently created space to gather them, to teach them, to restore them, and to unite them in one mission—establishing God’s Kingdom on earth.
So, here’s the challenge: can we become people who create those kinds of spaces for others? Can we be intentional about “wasting time” in ways that bring healing, restore hope, and deepen relationships? If you’re an older woman, can you convene a gathering where you share your learning with those who are younger? Can we create a space where we are not reminded of the ticking of the clock, or our growing ‘to-do’ lists and spend time listening deeply to each other, sharing in the challenges that others are facing?
The writer of Hebrews invites us to a higher vision:
“Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together… but encouraging one another”
(Hebrews 10:24–25).
In God’s economy, time spent encouraging one another is never lost—it is sown into eternity.
And when our gathering is purposeful and grace-filled, no time is ever truly wasted.
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