Watch
Listen
Read
The Proverbs 31 Women: A model of noble character, strength and valour
Proverbs 31:10-31 reads as a manual for being a good wife; she appears to be Superwoman, idealised as an exemplar of God-fearing womanhood. The chapter reveres the ultimate multi-tasker: a woman who runs her household and business with the principles of modern titans of industry. As an unmarried woman, it didn’t feel applicable to me. Most sermons and commentaries are written by men, but female Hebrew scholars like Wil Gaffney present a different take, suggesting that nuances in translation by men, especially concerning the words “woman” and “wife”, have played down the woman’s strength, attributing a stereotypical femininity not found in the Hebrew text.1
As with most of life, context is key. The royal mother’s advice to her son, Lemuel, is insightful. It’s not just a beautiful text offering sound advice; it’s carefully crafted poetic literature, based on the Hebrew alphabet. The male writer extols the virtues of a wife of noble character, based on motherly advice.
Royal Advice
The queen encourages her son to find a ‘good’ woman, warning him not to waste time chasing anyone who lacks integrity or who is not a good fit for her role. The chapter indicates frustration, bringing correction before encouragement. “What are you doing, my son?” she seems to ask (v 1-3). Her key message from v10 is ‘Find a virtuous woman of valour.’ Historically, the text has been linked with marriage but the first nine verses advise the king to avoid self-indulgence, and focus on the rights of the oppressed. A woman of valour will help the king lead, shaping good intentions.
The perspective incorporates both male and female views on the significance of wise women. It is based on female advice and written by a devoted son, most likely Solomon, about the strength of women. The Hebrew term ‘eshet chayil’ can be translated not just as ‘a woman of noble character’, but as ‘a woman of strength and valour.’2
It is interesting to note that the masculine noun chayil is used in the Hebrew Bible 290 times, and only four times relating to a female – three times in Proverbs and once in the book of Ruth. In fact, Ruth is the only woman to whom the words eshet chayil are specifically addressed (Ruth 3:11). The word is a masculine noun and is used repeatedly to describe warriors, strength, virtue, armies and riches. It’s very telling that when used in the context of womanhood, the understanding of strength and courage is carefully removed and we are left with the sense that, rather than look for a powerful and brave queen, the king must look for ‘excellence’. Yes, she is to be diligent, good at caring and managing, but translators, due to their own inherent prejudices, have carefully denuded her grit and power from the picture, and incidentally, from Mother’s advice.
The text offers wisdom on leadership, justice, and all qualities comprising a strong, courageous, capable woman. It’s an acrostic in Hebrew, highlighting specific letters to convey this woman’s characteristics and qualities. She cares for those in poverty, works hard and has good business acumen. She wishes her son to recognise these characteristics in a partner, warning against character flaws that would undermine his position and therefore, his ability to lead.
To appreciate the strength of character required, the preceding verses provide a contrast. She warns not to waste his time on lascivious behaviour, denouncing the effect of alcohol which would undermine his authority, impair his judgment and distract him from doing what is right. She stresses the need for justice for the afflicted, to speak for those who can’t speak for themselves, and to defend the rights of the marginalised.
‘Eshet Chayil’ emphasises not only virtue, but one who is strategic, which adds another degree of complexity and distinction to the text. She speaks with wisdom, is loyal and trusted. A resourceful woman, she works hard for her community, buying, selling and managing resources with great skill. Her reputation goes before her as she provides for and protects her household, and is mindful of those who are impoverished.
The Proverbs 31 woman is often used as the example of what womanhood should be. While that idea has merit, it focuses on what and how much she does, rather than who she is. She sets a high bar for women, which is essentially about doing the right thing. However, that kind of capacity must come from a deeper place and no one can fulfil that kind of remit without God.
Living out of our character
Undoubtedly, the fear of the Lord is of her strength (v30). The acrostic form of poetry illustrates the comprehensiveness of her God-given character by using the main letters of the Hebrew alphabet. It is a powerful literary device focusing the mind on her qualities. I have written one using the English alphabet, reflecting on women around me and thinking about the woman I aspire to be.
A woman of courage is a precious gift from God. Prophetic and wise, aware and bold; she is courageous and confident. She discerns with compassion, her perspective sees beyond artifice and things as they first appear, and she is a deep thinker. She is an expert in being herself. Her quality standard is to do her best. She’s faithful. She’s loyal to friends. She galvanises people, and she’s always hopeful in her speech and judgment. She’s industrious. She judges fairly; her opinions are informed. She’s kind, loving. She motivates others. She knows things. She exercises responsible leadership, whether in her behaviour or her resources. She protects the vulnerable. She asks relevant questions. She’s resourceful. She is supportive of others, kind and tenacious. She has a purpose and intent in everything she does; she is unique and doesn’t try to copy anyone else.
In an ancient world which favoured males, her fear of the Lord underpins her spiritual life, showing she has a dimension that isn’t contrived. I love that she knows who(se) she is. She’s wise and just, loving those who are different from her, understanding that diversity is a measure and characteristic of God’s creation. While she handles the traditional role as a wife and mother very well, she rises above worldly expectations, serving as a model of integrity. Her character defines her as she serves her family and community, reflecting strength rooted in self-awareness. She’s a woman of honour, advocating for those who are unseen and those whose voices are unheard. Her strength is evident in everything she does. A true eshet chayil.
However, it’s important to acknowledge that her experience is not challenge free. Societal pressure means balancing many responsibilities that create tensions. Such complexities make her achievements more admirable and relatable. She understands her privilege, using it wisely to encourage growth in others. She doesn’t work in isolation; she collaborates with her community ensuring that everyone can contribute to the end result. I aspire to her example, practicing these values at work and in my relationships with others.
Her strength and integrity reflect a divine relationship with God, making her a credit to herself, her husband, and her Father in heaven. Sometimes we overlook that part. Throughout the Bible we see women of virtue like Ruth, Esther, Hannah, Mary and Anna, women who kept their word, stood firm in the face of opposition, and lived righteously. Their faithfulness is recognised by God.
The Proverbs 31 woman doesn’t work to be seen, or act to gain favour or kudos; she has a purpose. She’s brave, knowing the work of her hands will build others up. She embodies chayil, the warrior determination, not in the sense of seeking conflict, but in her relentless pursuit of good for those around her and her tenacious determination not to give up until she sees the purposes of God prevail. She understands the conditions around her, so while circumstances sometimes work against her, she remains undeterred. Her intentions and motives are pure, reflecting strength of character and purpose. Because of this, she is trusted, which created honour for her husband in that society. We see similar qualities in many women throughout the Bible, some of whose names we know and others we don’t. All of them maintained integrity and diligence against all odds.
The strength to Act Justly and Love Mercy.
The Proverbs 31 woman embodies strength, courage, and valour; everything she does is infused with integrity and resilience. Her actions serve as testament to her character, moral firmness, and strength of purpose. Rather than focusing on how much she accomplishes, it’s essential to understand the place of Godly strength she operates from — certainty and confidence in herself and her values. Social media generally celebrates superficial traits, portraying success through material wealth or physical appearance. Unlike these fleeting ideals, this woman represents a countercultural stance, grounded in lasting virtues that go beyond popular trends, showcasing the deeper value of inner character over temporary allure.
She doesn’t work to impress others; her actions come from finding purpose in her work. I picture her before dawn, as the world still sleeps, the soft glowing light of a lamp, diligently preparing for the day ahead. She’s brave. Even though she does not seek conflict, she is able to stand her ground when the situation calls for her to do that. She seeks good for those around her and strives to see those good intentions come about. Circumstances might sometimes work against her because of who she is, as they do for women of every generation, colour, and creed, but for the sake of others she pushes on. Her excellent organisational skills and business acumen cause her to gain trust and confidence—not just in herself but in her family and community. A pillar of reliability, her reputation shines through her actions.
In an age of virtue signalling, this individual doesn’t do things to look good. She works for justice because she understands we are all interconnected, each of us created in the image of God, the Imago Dei. Because of this, her actions leave an indelible mark on her community. Her great support of others is shown by her encouragement of King Lemuel to use his privilege to defend the poor and the rights of those who are destitute (v 8, 15 & 20). Clearly, there is a strategic aspect to her character as she anticipates and generously prepares with a mindset of clarity and insight (21-22).
There are implications: so many women are focused on being the best they can be, despite the difficulties of their circumstances. Poverty doesn’t stop them. Bad reputation doesn’t stop them. Stereotypes don’t stop them. Prejudice, misogyny, abuse doesn’t stop them. Their virtue, courage, wisdom and moral fortitude comes from knowing they are daughters of the most-high God, and that their help and strength come from Him. Understanding this deals effectively with the fear of what others may think about them so they can pursue God’s call on their life without being overwhelmed by fear of man. They can follow the call of God with the chayil characteristics of integrity, strength, courage and richness.
Over the years we’ve focused on what she does rather than her underpinning conviction and devotion. Her respect in the community, along with her ordered household, business acumen and the myriad of other characteristics she has can cause us to feel we are failing unless we are doing the same. However, it’s important to remember this is not a specific woman. She is an example, an avatar of the possibilities open to us as we remember that the strength, certainty, self-confidence and courage required all arise from her devotion to God.
We can all consider how to embody these qualities. My personal takeaway is an ongoing question:
Do I listen to what God says of me in an age of increasing fear, misogyny, racism and xenophobia? How do I transform these virtues into actions reflecting God’s character and purposes, impacting those around me?”
Footnotes
1. Wil Gaffney- Commentary on Proverbs 31:10-31 https://www.workingpreacher.org/commentaries/revised-common-lectionary/ordinary-25-2/commentary-on-proverbs-3110-31-4 accessed 2nd February 2, 2026.
2. Eshet Chayil https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/3390021/jewish/Why-Sing-Eishet-Chayil-on-Friday-Night.htm accessed 2nd February 2, 2026.
About Sharon
Sharon is based in Bermuda, where she is Canon Theologian to the Anglican diocese. She was previously the Deputy Director of the Racial Justice Unit at the Church of England and Dean of Ministry at St Mellitus College prior to that. As well as speaker and author (Every Tribe and Heroes of Hope). Sharon’s is involved in Difference, a programme on reconciliation which supports Reconciling Leaders Network’s (RLN) focus on reconciliation as mission.
