Recently, in the context of coaching, I have had the privilege of chatting with a couple of wonderful women who are both seeking to face their discomfort in order to move forwards in different areas of their lives. Quite honestly, their example has inspired me and caused me to reflect on my own life again. After all, we can all get a bit stuck or feel reluctant to step out into the unknown.
So, here’s a question worth asking yourself today: What stops you?
We probably all want to achieve, start or complete certain things, but what stops us from doing it? Pressure? Time? Expectations of others? Expectations of ourselves? Fear of failure or letting people down? Somebody recently said to me that often it is our inhibitions rather than prohibitions that stop us. In other words, while there may well be challenges and tough seasons, it’s not always necessarily pressure from the outside but those internal limits that can keep us stuck where we are.
The psychologist Carl Jung once said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious it will direct your life, and you will call it fate.” Whatever our thoughts are about fate and how God is involved in directing our lives, there is still clearly some truth to this. If we keep defaulting to self-defeating beliefs or repeatedly rule ourselves out without objective evidence for doing so, we need to become self-aware and course-correct. Likewise, if we keep tripping up over the same issues and landing back in the same places again, it’s time to consciously name it, accept it, and do something about it.
And it looks different for us all. My inner critic will sound different to yours. Likewise, my challenges and opportunities will look different to yours. Some of you are able to embrace training for a marathon but would tremble at public speaking – I am definitely the reverse! But God has uniquely made us and knows our dreams, desires, hopes, limitations and obstacles to overcome.
Therefore, rather than getting stuck by what stops you, it’s good to remember what gets you started and what motivates you! If we can focus again on our ‘why’ and the difference we make, we might stop stopping!
So, here is a contrasting question to ponder today: What starts you?
In other words:
- What gets you up each day? What and who matter most to you?
- What would you like to achieve in the day/week/month/year ahead?
- How do you want others to feel when they experience you?
- Who can support you to keep growing in self-awareness and self-confidence where needed?
Finally, as we seek to lead and love others, let’s remember that it always starts with a God who never stops loving us. He will give us the wisdom and strength we need and will also provide others (especially in the Kyria Network!) to support us as we step out each day. What a great start that is!




